| Location | Bournemouth |
| Age | 20 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 08/02/1986 |
| Date of Death | 21/01/2007 |
| Visitors | 2,540 since 03/09/2007 |
| Creator |
Ben was my eldest son. He has a brother Tim now aged 20 and a sister Anna now aged 11. Ben was unique. If you ever met him you would never forget him. But he found life so hard to live, and so chose not to. I think about him every day. I know at last that he is happy now. We scattered his ashes in Lulworth Cove on 8th of February 2007. It would have been his 21st birthday.
There was never a time when I did not exist, nor you.
Nor will there be any future when we cease to be
good morning julie how ru 2day? people say it gets easier don't they, but for me it seems to be getting harder. the more things that happen in your life the more things you want to tell him about, i don't know about you but i use r barrys page like a diary telling him things that he probably knows already but i get a little bit of comfort from doing it. i really do feel for you & i'm sending you a big squeeze.
with love to Benjamin;s mum & family xxxxxxxxxx
A Broken Heart That Speaks
I feel more depressed
Each day when I awake
I wish to god you could tell me
There has been a big mistake.
My darling son was taken
From his mothers love
To live with the angels
In heaven up above
I did not have him with me
For the time I should have had
No longer can I hold him
Which makes me very sad?
The pain of losing my son
Shows in every single tear
I spend each day missing you
Longing to have you near
Life for me is lonely now
Without you by my side
My Broken shattered heart
Is very hard to hide
People tell me that time is a healer
That the pain will go away
They don’t understand
That this pain is here to stay
For when you lose a child
There is nothing that can compare
The bond we had at their birth
Will never leave, it’s always there
The love a mother has
Runs so very deep
That love is so special
It’s in her heart to keep
A mother’s heart is broken
She is ripped apart inside
There is a part of her missing
It left when her child died
So please don’t tell me to get over it
For this I can not do
Unless you understand my feelings
And this has happened to you
Only another mother who has lost a child
Can understand my pain
Because the also suffer daily
As the memories of their child remain
We are a band of mothers
Whose hearts will never heal?
For the loss of our children
Is for us, so very real.
my son too took his own life he was 28 years old. my heart goes out to you
Reflection
Another day for you to wonder, another day for you to mourn
It wasn't my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn't my intention to go without words said.
My frame of mind seemed normal, or so I heard them say
It wasn't my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn't my intention to never see you again.
Despair and confusion left my aching mind unsure
It wasn't my intention to suddenly close life's door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn't my intention to leave you and not stay.
I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebb from my heart
it wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart
please look on the LINKS at GTS and you will find a group set up especially for those that lost a loved ones this way...it may help
my husband too chose to end his life nov 06 age 29 leavin me and our 3 sons behind. When a loved one chooses they cant live anymore the devastation left behind for loved ones is sooooooooooooo hard im praying and thinkin of u all so much rite now remember the good times Benjamin will be watchin over u all sleep tite Ben xx
so sorry
Unfortunately my son chose to end his life. The pain is breathtaking. So many questions and no answers. He also found life tough, may be they were just too sensitive for this world.I do feel for you, it does eventually become bearable but it will never be right. They are at peace now watching over us.Wrap yourself in your memories and remember he is only a whisper away. Thinking of you all XXX
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Perhaps
Perhaps, if we could see
The splendour of the land
To which our loved are called from you and me
We'd understand.
Perhaps, if we could hear
The welcome they receive
From old familiar voices-all so dear-
We would not grieve.
Perhaps, if we could know
The reason why they went
We'd smile- and wipe away the tears that flow
And wait content.
Anon
so sorry
Reflection
Another day for you to wonder, another day for you to mourn
It wasn't my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn't my intention to go without words said.
My frame of mind seemed normal, or so I heard them say
It wasn't my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn't my intention to never see you again.
Despair and confusion left my aching mind unsure
It wasn't my intention to suddenly close life's door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn't my intention to leave you and not stay.
I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebb from my heart
it wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart.
I am sending love and hope you have good family and friends at this terrible time,my brother took his own life last november and we are still trying to come to terms with it. If only they could see what devisation they leave behind and how much they are loved ! love to you all janine(steven horsfields sister)
Sweet dreams handsome
Rest in peace benjamin,Hope you have found my 2 year old grandson kian,He has the same contagious smile as you.Look over your family and keep them safe.God bless you all,with love,Jackie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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